Goodbyes never come easy and yet there is no way to escape them. Whether it is saying goodbye to your family as you take on a new adventure or struggling to find the words to say goodbye to someone or something you love, goodbyes are a form of heartache that cannot be mistaken.
The idea of “goodbye” is scary because it means you are not only parting with someone who has been involved in your life, but you are also parting with a piece of yourself. If you are willing to get close to someone it means you are willing to share aspects of yourself with them, maybe even qualities that nobody else truly knows about. For many people, opening themselves up is difficult and adding the factor of possible goodbyes tends to make someone even more inclined to become closed-off.
I have had my share of goodbyes and many have not been easy, but surprisingly enough they have eventually lead to different forms of clarity. It is a strength that has to be learned to let go of people who no longer fit into your life, and this strength takes time to find. Some goodbyes are unexpected while others are a long time coming. As much as I hate the idea of losing people with whom I have shared much of my life with, I am learning to accept that this will continue to occur as years pass. Goodbyes are inevitable.
In a twisted way, goodbyes have a great beauty about them. A goodbye signifies the end of something worth recognizing in a person’s life. In order for an ending to occur there needs to have been a beginning and a middle – typically filled with memories. These memories make parting ways even more challenging, but they are also the reason why it is crucial to continue to accept new people into your life. New relationships, new adventures, new loves, these are all opportunities to create new moments. Old memories are never replaced, but allowing yourself to create new memories can make old goodbyes fade a little bit easier.
Although shying away from new people and new opportunities may be the easiest thing to do in an attempt to avoid heartache entirely, this should never be an option. Living with an open heart and an open mind is the only way you are going to have connections with people and these connections are needed to help you grow. No matter how much they may hurt, goodbyes ultimately help lead you to a greater understanding of yourself and what you desire. I am slowly learning to become thankful for the people who have left my life because it has allowed me to invest myself into new people and new passions. Goodbyes will never be easy, but they are a necessary experience as they subtly further you to become the person you want to be.
XO – Autumn
Autumn K. Dube 