“You have an inviting energy about you, people can sense that you’re open,” said Desiree last month as we were discussing the current state of my love life. This stuck with me, and I couldn’t help but wonder (shoutout Carrie Bradshaw), am I really that open?

It’s no secret I’m a hopeless romantic. Those romcom movies that show two soulmates reuniting years later or strangers meeting at a café and totally hitting it off – that’s the shit I LOVE. And better yet, I genuinely believe in relationships like that. The ones that stick with you, the one love you can’t seem to shake or sparks so undeniable you both instantly know you’ve stumbled upon something special.

How do you find a love like that? You have to put yourself out there. At least that’s what I tell myself to quiet the nervous butterflies as I’m getting ready for a date or about to strike up a conversation with a random person at a bar.

And what better place to take chances than a city bustling with individuals from all walks of life. I love dating in Boston. Meeting new people, adventuring to exciting places together and locking eyes just long enough to wonder if there could potentially be something more between you.

Are you rolling your eyes yet? I know some of my friends are, but stick with me! Yes, bad dates do exist and heartbreak is so real..so so real. BUT each person you meet will teach you something about yourself. They’ll help you realize what you want in a partner and maybe make you appreciate a past love even more.

Turning the “what-ifs” into reality

Past loves, such a bittersweet thought. Does that love every truly go away? And if yes, where does it go? Navigating unresolved feelings and the “what-ifs” can be exhausting. And it can go on for years if you let it. The classic battle of the head and heart, often resulting in fighting what you truly feel or biting your tongue because you’re scared to be vulnerable.

Well, I call bullshit.

You know what you want. You know what’s good for you and who you deserve to be with. Go after it. Share what’s in your heart and put it all out there. It may be absolutely terrifying and you might wake up the next morning – if you slept at all – with a lump in your throat, but at least you know you’ve done all you can.

One way or another, you can move on with your life and stop holding yourself back in relationships. Expressing the love in your heart makes room for new love to enter. Whether it’s a rekindled flame or love interest, you’ll feel at peace knowing you finally gave yourself a fair shot at having something real again.

You put your heart on the line, now what?

Trust in what comes next. Telling someone how you feel about them and not hearing what you want in return will break your heart. Just a friendly heads up! You might shatter all over again but at least you’re moving forward. That’s what matters.

“Just as she thought her heart was breaking, she realized it was breaking open.”

You deserve to love someone who will happily give that love right back to you. Someone who will choose you every time. Maybe it’s that past love or perhaps it’s someone wonderful you haven’t met yet. But you’ll never know unless you share what’s in your heart first.

Cheers to remaining open. And cheers to authentic love, babes! Go get yours.

XO – Autumn