self-love

Clarity is Closer than You Think

Autumn K. Dube2 Comments

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This is what pure happiness looks like. Also, what clarity feels like. Florence, 2017

I’m at a time in my life where I can do absolutely anything I want. College is over, my European adventures have come to a close, and the possibilities are endless. This thought is extremely encouraging but at the same time feels slightly overwhelming. There’s pressure to succeed. There’s the classic, stereotypical idea of what I “should be doing”, and then there are my student loans which are eager to remind me finding a job is a must.

Of course, I want to work. I’m excited to make my mark on a new company and share the talents I’ve acquired over the years. I’m not one to waste my hard earned college degree. But where do I work? What specific job do I want to start my entire career with? The career I’ve been preparing for with internships, writing opportunities, and many many hours of homework. Thinking of it this way, yes, slight overload.

After a month of laying out my options and taking full advantage of the fact that I still live at my parents’ (thank you for the free food and love!) I hit a small breaking point. Too many options is never a bad problem to have but for some reason, I felt stuck. Stuck in my thoughts. Stuck because of money. Stuck, truly, because of fear.

Woah. Hold up. Fear? Really? I’ve never allowed that word to dictate my decisions. I throw my trust up to the Universe, work my ass off, and count my blessings. And my life always, always unfolds exactly how it’s supposed to. Forever grateful for that. But I couldn’t get out of my own head. Anddd that’s when my mom’s love stopped my doubts almost instantaneously.

“You’re not going to stay here till May,” she said as though she’s known this all along. “Your heart isn’t here, it’s in Boston.” And just like that, a wave of relief washed over me. My own mother, who would keep me at home for the rest of my life if she could, was reminding me of my truth. The truth I hid from myself because I didn’t think moving right now was the “smart” thing to do. I figured I should get a job in Maine for a few months, start to save a little more and pay off loans, all while living at my parent’s house. This is the reality of so many people I know, I got caught up in the idea that it should probably be mine, too.

I adore Maine. I love my home life and am so grateful to have grown up in a supportive community. I will always be a Mainer. But after thriving in Boston for four years, I know that’s where my success lies. I consider Boston the second love of my life. I have truly fallen in love with that city, time and time again. The people. The sounds. The greenery combined with high-rise buildings. The history. My heart flutters just thinking about it. And that’s a feeling I never want to second guess – butterflies.

I’ve never felt “lost” before in terms of what I want out of life. I’ve been confused about who I am, struggled with decisions between my head and heart, but my career goals have never wavered. And they aren’t about to start.

“If it’s not a resounding yes, it’s a no.”

In case you haven’t assumed the obvious yet, I am indeed moving to Boston asap and beginning this next chapter of my life. As soon as I made this decision, my entire energy changed. My heart was once again filled with excitement about my life, causing a beautiful ripple effect. Women in the same networking groups as me (hello Bad Ass Babes) are reaching out with job opportunities. An online career consultant is helping me organize the craziness of my job hunt out of the kindness of her heart. Apartments with the exact rental dates I want are surfacing. The support from my friends is beyond encouraging. New freelance writing opportunities are allowing me to stress less about money. And everyone in my family had the same reaction, “I was going to say you should just move to Boston. About time!” Well damn, you could’ve told me sooner.

Magic. Simply magical.

Clarity was always within reach but I let fear temporarily block it from me. If your heart isn’t in it, whatever “it” may be, you won’t find success. You won’t be staying true to yourself. And that’s not a life path I ever want to choose.

You know what you want. You know what you deserve. And your heart knows this better than anyone, even you. So listen to it. Trust your gut. And most importantly, push fear aside because it has no place in your dreams.

Clarity always lies within. More specifically, within your heart.

Cheers to going after what’s real & brushing fear aside. After all, if it’s not a little bit scary it’s probably not worth it anyway, right?

XOXO

– Autumn

 

Special cheers to my mom for hearing my heart’s desires louder than I could. Your words sparked my magic. I love you!

 

Live Flavorfully

Autumn K. DubeLeave a comment

 

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seasonal allergy blend, photo by Autumn K. Dube

What does it mean to live life flavorfully? Anything you want really. I know, technically flavorfully isn’t a word, but it resonates with me in so many ways. It feels rich in color, authenticity, and sounds like a purposeful way to live one’s life naturally – so obviously I’m all about it.

This word came to me when I was trying to find a way to express how it feels to live a life guided by natural essential oils, specifically doTERRA brand. This is a new venture I am taking on and am genuinely excited about. It’s a simple way to improve your quality of life, aid your ailments both big and small, boost your mood, and overall become more grounded by replacing the toxic products we have integrated into our everyday routines with ones directly from nature.

I was hesitant for a few months to even begin to start sharing my knowledge and reaching out to others about essential oils. I don’t want to be one of those annoying Facebook friends who pushes vitamins or protein powders down your throat with the casual #ad hashtag at the end of every post. That is not something I believe in and is exactly the opposite of what I hope to achieve by spreading my passion for doTERRA products.

My family and I have been using essential oils for a couple years now. I would never advocate for something I don’t believe in. I use Lavender oil on the bottom of my feet at night and really do sleep better – it’s meant for calming moods. I use doTERRA shampoo and conditioner, which work wonderfully together, and the scents of orange, lime, and peppermint help to wake me up in the mornings. I have used tea tree oil, also known as Melaleuca, on my acne scars for over two years now and have seen drastic changes in my complexion. I love it. I use what doTERRA calls Deep Blue, it feels like icy-hot, on my sore muscles after a workout or on the back of my neck for tension headaches. Peppermint on my temples has also proven to reduce pain when a migraine comes on, it’s cooling and quick acting. Oh, and lemon oil rubbed on a stomach does wonders for hangovers. Best part? All of these products are completely natural and extracted in an environmentally friendly way from different locations around the world.

I use these products. I have experienced their multiple benefits and heard others tell miraculous stories about their experiences, too. I really do love how these oils help enhance my mood and health. The human body and mind are capable of healing themselves naturally. doTERRA essential oils help to support and improve the ways our bodies already know how to function. By not adding anything unnatural to your body, like drugs and medicine, and trying essential oils instead, you are simply helping your body to function in ways it is already designed to do.

I love how powerful and complex human bodies are and I have always believed in the strength of a positive mindset. Combining these with essential oils has helped me to live my best life. Seriously.

So no, I won’t constantly nag you about trying these products or attending future events I host, but I will share the changes I have seen in my life in hopes of inspiring others to try doTERRA essential oils for themselves. I am eager to bring these to my community, sell them to those who want to make a change in their lives for the better, and educate others on why essential oils really do work.

Thank you in advance for supporting my new business venture! I am more than willing to answer any questions and share my personal stories.

Cheers to working hand in hand with nature to change the quality of our lives. It’s the way life should be (can you tell I’m from Maine?).

XOXO – Autumn K. Dube

Learn more on my personal doTERRA website: https://www.mydoterra.com/autumndube/#/ 

 

What Being a Positive Person Really Means

Autumn K. DubeLeave a comment
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Old Port, Maine

If you know me at all, you’ve heard me stress the importance of living life with a positive mindset. I’d happily accept the title of ‘broken record’, referring to how often I repeat those words, but I would never label myself as a hypocrite.

One of my friends called me this in a conversation we had while I was still at college. It was a talk filled with lots of emotions and no filters when it came to speaking our minds. Yikes, I know. “You are a positive person and you always talk about that but you’re not constantly happy and that’s hypocritical. And you even complain about things in your life, too.” Correct. These are all accurate observations but definitely not aspects of myself that I should be ashamed of or criticized for.

After reflecting on the words that left me feeling bitter, they became easier to swallow than I would have expected. It all comes down to what positivity means to an individual person, as most things in life do. In my eyes, and compared to my old self, I am proudly living as the happiest version of myself despite what that may look like to others.

Living a positive life doesn’t mean walking around with a smile plastered across your face every single second. It doesn’t mean being upbeat 24/7 and only having good things happen to you. And it definitely doesn’t mean you have to love everyone and everything that comes into your life. This constant bubbliness would actually lead me to insanity, it’s simply not natural to be “on” all the time.

Becoming a positive person means deepening your understanding of yourself and what makes you happy. It’s the realization that happiness comes from within. It’s prioritizing your needs but also recognizing the joy that comes from helping others. And it’s being able to love yourself, flaws and all.

A positive mindset is a safe place you create for yourself. It’s where you can breathe easy when things aren’t going your way or you’re simply having an off day. Smiling like a fool doesn’t make you a positive person, but choosing to not dwell on the hard times or carry anger with you, does.

Everyone experiences hardships. These difficult times are what allow you to have empathy for others and gain appreciation for the little things in life. You will surely feel a range of emotions when tough times find you. You are entitled to express these emotions and feel them wholly, as this is how you heal. But the next step is where you define yourself. Do you want to stay at this low in your life or choose to live in brighter days?

I choose to follow the sun.

Even when I complain, stress out, or feel upset I choose to not make that my permanent mindset. I feel my emotions as they come, and seek out comfort from loved ones as needed, but then I find ways to move past them. There are some people who sadly can’t see the positive sides of situations but instead bring others down with their negativity. That’s not enjoyable or healthy for anyone but sometimes it’s inevitable. After many years of searching in all the wrong places, I finally know what it means to be happy and I come back to this state of mind daily through gratitude and love. It takes time and experience to learn and trust in the beauty of your life, but choosing happiness is easier than you may expect.

Cheers loves, bring on the sunshine!

XO – Autumn

Vulnerable

Autumn K. DubeLeave a comment
Reflecting Pool
Reflecting Pool, Boston

Being vulnerable is scary. It is. It can make you extremely self-aware and show you sides of yourself you may not be comfortable embracing yet. So why succumb yourself to this feeling?

Society teaches us to be strong. To be fearless and seek power through success. This mindset instills in us the thoughts that pain and emotions are unnecessary, as if they are only standing in our way. This made sense to me at first. I mean, who wants to willingly feel anger or sadness? Well, according to a Ted Talk I watched today, whole-hearted people do.

The Ted Talk explained, after extensive research, that we tend to numb our emotions. Whether this is by blocking unsettling feelings from our minds or turning to vices, many of us tend to suppress what we are feeling rather than actually dealing with it. You would think that numbing the bad would allow you to only focus on the good, right? Wrong. This is what we as humans need to recognize and change as we grow.

You cannot choose when you feel pain. Sure, you can strive for a positive outlook and handle uncertainty with grace but ultimately life will throw you some curve-balls and it’s okay to be upset when this happens. When you numb your pain (from heartbreak to shameful moments) you also numb your chance at joy and happiness. Which in turn leads to searching for meaning in your life, being dissatisfied, reliving your negative emotions and as a result continuing this cycle.

Break the cycle. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. This not only gives you the chance to connect with others in a more genuine way but it will help you find what true happiness means to you. Vulnerability comes with being honest with who you truly are which overtime leads to accepting who you are. The study showed that those who were accepting of themselves, and have a strong sense of love and belonging, are the same ones who believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

This took me a second to grasp, the concept of the beauty behind vulnerability, until I realized I have caught myself living my life like this more and more over the years. As I become more comfortable with who I am it has become easier for me to reveal myself to others, whether this is through words or actions. I have definitely texted my crush asking them to grab a coffee (and even been turned down too), wrote essays about very personal topics that I later had to share with classmates, and continued to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It may not always be ideal but knowing what I deserve has given me more courage to go after what I want.

Vulnerability, in the sense of expressing who you are and what you deserve, is worth adapting into your lifestyle. Be strong and powerful but brave enough to love yourself. Like anything, it takes time, but it’s worth the effort of learning to be aware.

Life is better when filled with deep connections & self-love.

XOXO – Autumn