Love & Fading Friendships

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Saco Camping Trip ’16

 

In the midst of the inevitable changes that take place after graduation, I’ve found myself spinning in circles trying to navigate them all. Especially when it comes to love. There has always been an abundance of love in my life. Whether I’m giving love out or happily receiving it, loneliness is unfamiliar to me. I know how lucky I am to be able to say that.

Friendships are where I have invested so much of my love. It’s natural for me to love those who accept me and make me feel alive. To praise my friends who protect my heart but also challenge me to be better. And of course, to love those who make me belly laugh, even at the jokes they tell at my expense because I feel that secure when I’m with them.

It’s always been easy for me to write about friendship. To brag about the wonderful, concrete relationships in my life that have been there since high school. But it’s not easy to admit that with time comes changes. Changes I keep trying to push aside or ignore, hoping things will go back to normal. Back to the old, inseparable crew who didn’t need anyone else to feel whole. Back to us. The ‘us’ who would spend days on the lake and nights partying up at camp. The us who played charades based purely on events from our lives, unfiltered of course. The us who adventured to casinos and concerts on a whim, made any hotel room feel like home, drove around aimlessly while singing our favorite songs, and stayed up as late as possible (hiding the fact that we had work the next day) even if it meant only getting one more hour together. We couldn’t get enough – friends turned family.

“Each time of life has its own kind of love.” – Leo Tolstoy

Those memories are what have made it challenging to accept the inevitable. The new people who come into our lives and capture our hearts in a different way. To admit that not every friend prioritizes our crew anymore, but rather chooses their partner or work obligations without hesitation. “This is what happens when you grow up,” seems to be the go-to phrase for anyone trying to help me make sense of this summer. Yes, I understand that, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

Letting go isn’t easy. Admitting you’ve outgrown friendships is even harder. And drifting apart from people who have been by your side for over ten years is just plain BLAH. Yes, blah.

If I’ve learned anything over the years, through relationships and loved ones, it’s that love never fully fades. We may be investing our love more intensely into other areas of our lives but it can never alter what used to be. Nobody, not even time, can erase every laugh we’ve shared. Every hug we’ve given or heart to heart we’ve helped one another through. Every night we’ve spent reminiscing over a game of cards. Every boat ride we’ve taken snuggled up together under the stars. The trashy bars we grew to love. The inside jokes that nobody else will truly appreciate. The love. It always comes back to the love we shared.

Our lives may be going in separate directions but I suppose it makes the time we do spend together now that much more special. We each have our own unique ideas of what our days should look like – where our futures will take us – and I smile knowing how different they will all be. I’ve often said my friends are all so different but it’s our likeness of hearts that keep us together. That still rings true to this day. We may not be attached at the hips anymore, but maybe that’s a good thing. Our memories won’t fade. Our friendships will bloom in new ways and our love for one another will never disappear. And for that I am grateful.

Each time of life has its own kind of love. Beautiful thought, isn’t it? Whether you’re falling in love for the first time, putting love into your friendships, discovering your own self-worth, or learning to love your life in general just be sure you do it fully. Love wholeheartedly. That’s the only way to do it, I promise.

Cheers to making more memories with the people I love & watching us all shine in our own ways. Change is good – despite what it may feel like during those transitional moments. Part of loving others is wanting them to be happy no matter what, even if that means taking a back seat on their journey.

Tru fam, I love you. Always.

XOXO

– Autumn

 

 

 

 

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Stronger Together

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Women’s March Boston – photo credit: Betsy Roy

 

All my life I have been surrounded and influenced by intelligent and beautiful women. I felt that today, in honor of the Women’s March, it was necessary to say thank you.

Thank you to the mothers who never tell their children their dreams are too big. Thank you to the powerful women who use their status as a platform to do good in this world – Gloria Steinem & DVF, I applaud you.  Thank you to the genuine men that stand by women and believe in them wholeheartedly. Thank you to the women who embody fierce friendships and choose to uplift one another instead of tearing others down. And thank you to the women who know their strength and take pride in it. You are all wonderful.

I was not physically at a march today, but I was definitely there in spirit. Seeing live footage and photos of everyone coming together, in a sea of pink, filled my heart. There is so much good in this world and today was exactly the reminder we needed. When people choose to promote love and hope in a peaceful manner, greatness happens. This is when love trumps hate. This is how we will continue to move our beloved country forward in a progressive and all-inclusive way. I am so lucky to be growing up in an era where so much is possible.

I am proud to be a woman. I am grateful I get to stand alongside so many diverse communities with the knowledge that it’s one’s heart that truly defines them. We are stronger than we think, especially when we come together.

Thank you to those who marched today, wherever that may have been. Your determination and hope are inspiring.

Cheers to the women who know their worth and aren’t afraid to fight for it. Keep going.

Much love – XOXO

Autumn Dube

Thank You, 2016

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Biddeford Pool Beach, Maine

 

It’s difficult to avoid the overwhelming amount of people who keep labeling 2016 as a total shit show. From a worldly perspective, I totally understand this outlook, cause yikes was this year unsettling. But on a more personal level, I feel the need to show 2016 some serious love.

At the beginning of this year, I made a resolution in the form of a phrase. It was sort of like my own personal mantra. “Living vicariously through myself” became my everyday reminder to do what makes me happy. The result of this mindset snowballed in the best, most unexpected ways possible. I first learned to be brutally honest with myself, then learned to express my feelings more openly, and as a result ended up living authentically and apparently inspiring others to do the same through my writing.

Who knew unleashing my true self would label me as an “inspiration.” This is a compliment I have received many times throughout the year, from strangers and loved ones alike. I am forever humbled by their kind words. Inspiring others was never an initial intention of mine. Hell, I am still trying to figure myself out. But the idea that sharing my own struggles and passions could light a spark in someone else was truly magical.

I have loved the journey 2016 has put me through, challenges included. My path has taken a wild turn and I have learned entirely new things about who I am, but more importantly, who I want to be.

In 2017 I want to continue to step out of my comfort zone. I want to open my heart to new people and push heartache aside. I want to manifest positivity into my daily adventures. I want to inspire. I want to be the best possible friend I can be. I want to find new things to love about myself. I want to stop biting my nails (ha). I want to write. I want to explore. And finally, I want to keep surprising myself.

I’ve been attempting to narrow down a new phrase to carry me through 2017 – remember, this can change over the course of your year if needed. “Don’t become complacent” will be my new daily reminder. I have been grateful for every opportunity I have been given but I definitely can’t become satisfied just yet. I want to use those words as my motivation to accomplish more and pursue my goals fearlessly. I hope to continue to grow as an individual and I believe this outlook will help me do so. You should always be proud of your accomplishments but continuously to strive for more.

I am extremely hopeful for this new year and I know it will bring even more blessings. After all, your life is whatever you make of it.

Cheers,

XO – Autumn

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” –  Elite Daily

Strutting for All Shapes & Sizes

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raffle prizes courtesy of Her Campus National

I am still beyond overjoyed with how well the Her Campus Emmanuel Body Positivity Fashion Show went last night. I couldn’t have hoped for a better turnout or genuine support from such lovely people. It was truly a memorable evening.

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One side of the runway, hey Sammy!

This event was designed around the idea of self-love, something we all need to work on every day. To show our support for all body types, our models ranged from a size small to an xlarge. And damn they all looked fabulous. Seeing their faces light up more and more after each outfit change was inspiring. The crowd was so into the show and the models said they had never felt so loved. How awesome is that?

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This experience was so much more empowering than I initially thought. Everyone has their insecurities. Whether it’s stressing over your weight, analyzing your skin, or doubting your beauty, I’m sure you can all relate to not feeling confident at one point in your life.

The idea of creating a fashion show that celebrated these “flaws” was incredible. My heart felt so full after hearing the crowd cheer for every single model. It humbled me unexpectedly and reminded me everyone is uniquely beautiful, especially when they smile.

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our fabulously confident models

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We all have the ability to empower each other – from beauty to brains. So why not? Why not celebrate your friends’ looks and your own wonderful qualities. We all deserve to feel a sense of self worth and the pure happiness that comes with it.

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Her Campus Emmanuel Executive Board 

I am so proud to be a part of such a wonderful group of people through Her Campus. I can’t wait to see who we can inspire next.

Cheers to feeling beautiful – HCXO

Autumn

follow our Instagram: hcemmanuel to see more pictures from the show!