Love & Fading Friendships

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Saco Camping Trip ’16

 

In the midst of the inevitable changes that take place after graduation, I’ve found myself spinning in circles trying to navigate them all. Especially when it comes to love. There has always been an abundance of love in my life. Whether I’m giving love out or happily receiving it, loneliness is unfamiliar to me. I know how lucky I am to be able to say that.

Friendships are where I have invested so much of my love. It’s natural for me to love those who accept me and make me feel alive. To praise my friends who protect my heart but also challenge me to be better. And of course, to love those who make me belly laugh, even at the jokes they tell at my expense because I feel that secure when I’m with them.

It’s always been easy for me to write about friendship. To brag about the wonderful, concrete relationships in my life that have been there since high school. But it’s not easy to admit that with time comes changes. Changes I keep trying to push aside or ignore, hoping things will go back to normal. Back to the old, inseparable crew who didn’t need anyone else to feel whole. Back to us. The ‘us’ who would spend days on the lake and nights partying up at camp. The us who played charades based purely on events from our lives, unfiltered of course. The us who adventured to casinos and concerts on a whim, made any hotel room feel like home, drove around aimlessly while singing our favorite songs, and stayed up as late as possible (hiding the fact that we had work the next day) even if it meant only getting one more hour together. We couldn’t get enough – friends turned family.

“Each time of life has its own kind of love.” – Leo Tolstoy

Those memories are what have made it challenging to accept the inevitable. The new people who come into our lives and capture our hearts in a different way. To admit that not every friend prioritizes our crew anymore, but rather chooses their partner or work obligations without hesitation. “This is what happens when you grow up,” seems to be the go-to phrase for anyone trying to help me make sense of this summer. Yes, I understand that, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

Letting go isn’t easy. Admitting you’ve outgrown friendships is even harder. And drifting apart from people who have been by your side for over ten years is just plain BLAH. Yes, blah.

If I’ve learned anything over the years, through relationships and loved ones, it’s that love never fully fades. We may be investing our love more intensely into other areas of our lives but it can never alter what used to be. Nobody, not even time, can erase every laugh we’ve shared. Every hug we’ve given or heart to heart we’ve helped one another through. Every night we’ve spent reminiscing over a game of cards. Every boat ride we’ve taken snuggled up together under the stars. The trashy bars we grew to love. The inside jokes that nobody else will truly appreciate. The love. It always comes back to the love we shared.

Our lives may be going in separate directions but I suppose it makes the time we do spend together now that much more special. We each have our own unique ideas of what our days should look like – where our futures will take us – and I smile knowing how different they will all be. I’ve often said my friends are all so different but it’s our likeness of hearts that keep us together. That still rings true to this day. We may not be attached at the hips anymore, but maybe that’s a good thing. Our memories won’t fade. Our friendships will bloom in new ways and our love for one another will never disappear. And for that I am grateful.

Each time of life has its own kind of love. Beautiful thought, isn’t it? Whether you’re falling in love for the first time, putting love into your friendships, discovering your own self-worth, or learning to love your life in general just be sure you do it fully. Love wholeheartedly. That’s the only way to do it, I promise.

Cheers to making more memories with the people I love & watching us all shine in our own ways. Change is good – despite what it may feel like during those transitional moments. Part of loving others is wanting them to be happy no matter what, even if that means taking a back seat on their journey.

Tru fam, I love you. Always.

XOXO

– Autumn

 

 

 

 

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“This is my Best Friend”

Rose Garden - fall

The concept of best friend is one that is foreign to most people.  I hear girls introducing their newly found friend of two months as their best friend, without hesitation, and it baffles me.  I strongly believe that the title of best friend is one that should be earned and not given out to the people who happen to be the most relevant in your life at the time.

A best friend is not someone you have known for only a few weeks and have the same taste in music and favorite drink as.  No.  A best friend is somebody who knows what you’re thinking when you aren’t saying anything.  They know your heart, your passions, and of course your taste in clothing. If you are blessed to have life-long friends than they most definitely know your order at your favorite local food places too.  It’s little things like this that give somebody the right to be called your genuine best friend.

I have grown to learn that finding those few close friends does happen faster in your college years.  This is probably due to the timing of our lives. We’re all striving to attain our dreams while simultaneously letting loose together on the days when life becomes overwhelming. We are sharing very similar experiences and are more confident in who we are, naturally gravitating towards people who seek that same thrill in life – in whatever that may be.

This is not to say that new friends who identify as best friends do not share an authentic friendship (although you’ll probably have a new “best friend” next month) but rather to recognize the difference in these types of friends compared to life long friends. Until you have cried together, eaten unnecessary amounts of food together, and answered their phone calls at 3:00am you do not understand the true meaning of genuine friendship.

Friendships need love and attention just like any other valuable relationship. Being a best friend never feels like work however, because involving yourselves in each other’s lives is nothing short of a gift.

So please, don’t taint the meaning behind best friend by continuing to throw it around as if it holds no depth. Cheers to the people who know the true meaning behind these words and here’s hoping others will soon find those friends whom make this relevant to their lives.

XO – Autumn