Seeking “The Spark”

 

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Full moon & sunset over Maiori, Italy. One of my favorite views yet.

 

We’re all searching for a spark. Something that reassures us we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be. A feeling that creates butterflies in our stomachs so undeniable we can’t help but smile when they flutter. An excitement that drives us to get out of bed in the morning, to keep pushing forward with each new day.

These sparks are so wonderful because they’re rare. They’re specific to you and your desires. Only you can feel them deeply.

Where do we find these sparks exactly? That’s the best part, you never know when they’ll pop up. You could find them in a book you’re reading that awakens something inside of you. Maybe it’s song lyrics that give you goosebumps or a hobby turned into a passion over time. A conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop that makes you think twice about where you’re headed in life. City ambition, the simplicity of the country, a look down memory lane with your family members. Dancing, photography, helping people, or even hitting the gym. It’s a feeling you’ll crave more of.

When you discover that feeling, let it wash over you. Feeling a spark is incomparable to any other emotion. It will send tingles down your spine while grounding you in the same moment. It’s magic and reassurance combined.

Of course, relationships are probably what come to mind when you think of “flying sparks.” It’s true, you can’t have a successful relationship without sparks. Everyone wants to kiss their partner and feel those butterflies. The spark that makes you feel like you can float away but also comfortably curl up into. Again, it’s magical, and isn’t that something we all deserve?

I’ve found sparks in writing time and time again. When I put pen to paper and create stories, I get those butterflies. When I find a way to tie my thoughts together, I feel giddy. And that’s just it; you may not understand how I could feel this way about something others may consider tedious but that’s how I know this is one of my sparks. And I indulge in it as I please.

You are worthy of endless sparks in your life – we all are. We all deserve to wake up as though it’s on purpose and greet each day as an opportunity to live fully. We deserve to find sparks, some greater than others, but also recognize why certain ones have faded as we’ve grown. Sometimes a spark is only meant to burn for a short while.

Seeking sparks more often than not turns into them finding you. Sparks come around when you pursue your passions and surround yourself with people who make you feel special. Sparks fly in relationships when you’re able to be your true self and love your partner as they are, too.

A spark can only shine brightly when you claim it as your own, so own it proudly.

Sparks are the reason you should never settle in any aspect of your life. At times you will lose your sparks, grow in different ways, and change life paths but knowing what it feels like to have a spark gives you a feeling to always come back to. A feeling you’ll want to hold as your standard moving forward because you know how blissful your life can be.

Never stop seeking sparks, never compromise your passions, and always believe you are worthy of magic.

Cheers loves,

XO – Autumn

 

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Love & Fading Friendships

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Saco Camping Trip ’16

 

In the midst of the inevitable changes that take place after graduation, I’ve found myself spinning in circles trying to navigate them all. Especially when it comes to love. There has always been an abundance of love in my life. Whether I’m giving love out or happily receiving it, loneliness is unfamiliar to me. I know how lucky I am to be able to say that.

Friendships are where I have invested so much of my love. It’s natural for me to love those who accept me and make me feel alive. To praise my friends who protect my heart but also challenge me to be better. And of course, to love those who make me belly laugh, even at the jokes they tell at my expense because I feel that secure when I’m with them.

It’s always been easy for me to write about friendship. To brag about the wonderful, concrete relationships in my life that have been there since high school. But it’s not easy to admit that with time comes changes. Changes I keep trying to push aside or ignore, hoping things will go back to normal. Back to the old, inseparable crew who didn’t need anyone else to feel whole. Back to us. The ‘us’ who would spend days on the lake and nights partying up at camp. The us who played charades based purely on events from our lives, unfiltered of course. The us who adventured to casinos and concerts on a whim, made any hotel room feel like home, drove around aimlessly while singing our favorite songs, and stayed up as late as possible (hiding the fact that we had work the next day) even if it meant only getting one more hour together. We couldn’t get enough – friends turned family.

“Each time of life has its own kind of love.” – Leo Tolstoy

Those memories are what have made it challenging to accept the inevitable. The new people who come into our lives and capture our hearts in a different way. To admit that not every friend prioritizes our crew anymore, but rather chooses their partner or work obligations without hesitation. “This is what happens when you grow up,” seems to be the go-to phrase for anyone trying to help me make sense of this summer. Yes, I understand that, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

Letting go isn’t easy. Admitting you’ve outgrown friendships is even harder. And drifting apart from people who have been by your side for over ten years is just plain BLAH. Yes, blah.

If I’ve learned anything over the years, through relationships and loved ones, it’s that love never fully fades. We may be investing our love more intensely into other areas of our lives but it can never alter what used to be. Nobody, not even time, can erase every laugh we’ve shared. Every hug we’ve given or heart to heart we’ve helped one another through. Every night we’ve spent reminiscing over a game of cards. Every boat ride we’ve taken snuggled up together under the stars. The trashy bars we grew to love. The inside jokes that nobody else will truly appreciate. The love. It always comes back to the love we shared.

Our lives may be going in separate directions but I suppose it makes the time we do spend together now that much more special. We each have our own unique ideas of what our days should look like – where our futures will take us – and I smile knowing how different they will all be. I’ve often said my friends are all so different but it’s our likeness of hearts that keep us together. That still rings true to this day. We may not be attached at the hips anymore, but maybe that’s a good thing. Our memories won’t fade. Our friendships will bloom in new ways and our love for one another will never disappear. And for that I am grateful.

Each time of life has its own kind of love. Beautiful thought, isn’t it? Whether you’re falling in love for the first time, putting love into your friendships, discovering your own self-worth, or learning to love your life in general just be sure you do it fully. Love wholeheartedly. That’s the only way to do it, I promise.

Cheers to making more memories with the people I love & watching us all shine in our own ways. Change is good – despite what it may feel like during those transitional moments. Part of loving others is wanting them to be happy no matter what, even if that means taking a back seat on their journey.

Tru fam, I love you. Always.

XOXO

– Autumn